


Man Behind The Mask

by Fliggy



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Cruelty, Gen, Grief/Mourning, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-03 01:33:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14557953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fliggy/pseuds/Fliggy
Summary: One-shot. Levi and Erwin debrief after the disastrous results of the 57th Expedition (and the encounter with the Female Titan).





	Man Behind The Mask

The corridor to Erwin’s office seemed darker today, and each footstep felt heavy, as if there was lead in his shoes. Levi wished he could be anywhere but here.

He knocked on the thick wooden door, twice, firmly. After a moment, he heard Erwin’s voice.

“Levi?”

“Yes.”

“Enter.”

The commander was seated at his desk. Usually tidy, now it was covered in documents, letters, and scribblings. Erwin looked up at him as he walked in. There were dark rings around the commander’s eyes.

Levi took a seat, glancing at him. “You look tired. Did you get any rest?”

“Did you?”

Levi hadn’t slept a wink. How could he? He’d always been an insomniac, and Petra hadn’t improved the situation. In the recent months, before the expedition, he’d become used to being jolted awake without warning. She’d often kicked while dreaming, and worse, she’d had surprisingly loud snores. Last night, he’d lay in bed for hours, painfully aware of her absence. How would he ever sleep again, without her to keep him awake?

“Of course,” he lied. “I slept like a baby.”

“That’s good to hear,” Erwin said, shuffling some papers. “I stayed up late to look for clues… hints… searching for the enemy.” He cleared his throat, then said, in a voice that sounded almost glum, “I found nothing of substance.”

“I’m sure that, as our commander, you’ll find the answer you’re looking for.” Levi hadn’t meant to sound so biting.

Erwin said nothing, but his eyebrows bunched up a little, and he hesitated, slightly, before looking at Levi. “We suffered heavy losses in equipment and manpower. We will… need to recruit and train. We lost effective soldiers.”

_Effective soldiers._ “We held on to the brat. All other losses are expendable.” The words felt like acid on his tongue, but Levi spoke them anyway.

Erwin’s expression remained blank.

It was game they played, the two of them, a perverse ritual they engaged in after each expedition. The casual debriefing, the callous and inhuman discussion of the friends they had lost. As if their compatriots were nothing more than tools for the greater good.

It was a costume Levi wore. They all had them. Hange, with her titan obsession. Mike, with his bizarre mannerisms. Perhaps even Erwin, with his utter sociopathy. They tried on the personalities like masks, and when they fit… when wearing them could let you forget the feeling of _seeing the smashed pulp of her body against the tree…_ then you never took them off.

They had played this game so many times, sometimes Levi forgot they were just pretending.

“Yes.” Erwin said, finally. “However, this failure has cost us significant political capital. We may lose Eren to the MP’s. If we cannot identify the enemies within our walls soon, he may be in grave danger.”

_And with him, humanity._ That was what was important. Despite the utter failure of the mission, they had gained valuable information on the enemy. Her abilities, and her objective. _And next time… I won’t let her get away so easily._

“Levi.” Erwin interrupted his thoughts. The commander was looking at him, his expression still unreadable.

“I would understand if you had some doubts regarding my leadership,” the commander said. He hesitated, but when Levi said nothing, continued, “My decision to confront the enemy was a tactical error. Though I knew we would face unforeseen abilities, I underestimated the challenge they would pose.”

_What is this, an apology?_

“It was a failure of imagination,” Erwin said. “It will not happen again.”

_Do you think an apology can bring them back?_

Levi sneered. “Really, Erwin? Don’t tell me you’re getting soft.”

“Wasn’t it you who told me to never regret my decisions?” Levi said. “We didn’t know the enemy. Now we do. There’s nothing more to discuss.” He stood up, a scowl across his face. “Discover the identity of the Female Titan. Tell me when you reach a conclusion. I’ll do the rest.”

It was usually Erwin who was the natural at this. Levi preferred it when he could only see cruelty, like the hints of a smile playing about the commander’s lips as they discussed the losses a future expedition would face. Better for Erwin to be a soulless machine, singular of purpose, tasked with saving humanity. It meant that all of them served some higher cause. It meant that all the deaths Levi had seen were meaningful, and not simply the misshapen results of one human and his fallible plans.

He did not ever want to see the man behind Erwin’s mask. _I’ve had enough games for today._ He knocked the chair aside as he left.


End file.
